Girls With The Mostest

hopefully-soon · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject:

I like the character a lot. I feel she is a strong woman when it comes to her profession. But when it comes to men, like many, she becomes weak. She obviously had her reasons for wanting to "take a break" from the relationship, but how soon she forgets those reasons when she realizes he has moved on.

JessFM · Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:56 pm Post subject:

During my early days in college, I would leave certain "away messages" (on AIM) up, knowing that my bf (and everyone else) would see them... I'd usually have a song quote to describe my mood. I always felt like it was the only way he'd actually "get" what i was feeling. It all sounds so childish and silly now (haha- only 5yrs later).

I've never really been written about- just in away messages (see above). ::sigh:: Seriously, that just sounds so ridiculous now.

In general, I think that writing a letter to someone is a great way to get your thoughts across. I find that when I try to do it face-to-face, I forget what I want to say or I can't quite phrase it the right way.

I like Cannie a lot- I can relate to how her low self-esteem interferes with relationships. This happened to me a few times in the past- and I feel like it still happens now. I feel like I have a big barrier up- no matter how often my bf tells me how much he loves me, or how pretty I am, I don't let it really sink in. I always think something like "he's lying" or "okay, maybe i look good today, but i'm having one of those really rare good days". I'm so uptight and I'm afraid to just let go and love myself. Sometimes I hate myself so much that I feel like I'm just burdening my bf by being around- sometimes I feel like I'd be happier alone for the rest of my life- but I know that if I were to lose my bf now, I'd have the deepest regret. I have somewhat of a self-destructive past in relationships- and I see the same in Cannie so far.

I looooove the book- I'm going to read more of it tonight :)
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Tori911 · Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 10:01 pm Post subject:

dhgirl · Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject:

I'm really enjoying the book too. I can't really say anyone has ever written anything about me but, it's easy to communicate through writting. Just look at us!

Anyway, as a teen and even in the early days of my marriage, I always found it easier to write exactly what I was feeling. It seems easier to find the right words sometimes rather than speaking. It also almost ensures the person to whom your speaking will actually hear what points you're trying to make, because they're there in black and white and don't get forgotten or ignored as they can in face to face conversation. We've all passed notes in class and written a 5 page letter to a boyfriend that broke our heart or pissed us off.

I think Cannie is a great character and struggles with the same things many women do. No matter what shape, size, or background. I think many of us have can relate.
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cologirl · Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:18 am Post subject:

I'm really enjoying the book (finally finished my other one on parenting teens so I could read a book for fun!) I was a journalist for 20 years (mostly public radio but some newspaper reporting) and so can really relate to her thoughts on the profession. I remember reading a criticism of one of my radio stories in the newspaper once and thinking I would love a job that was not in the public eye - like owning a muffin shop! I also remember getting hand-written envelopes and knowing a grumpy old listener had probably written some scathing comment that would ruin my day. (as with the guy who didn't like Cannie's criticism of Celine Dion) I loved Cannie's comment - "I hate readers!" We need them but they sure are a pain! (I had plenty of nice notes too - it wasn't all bad)

The book has made me laugh out loud a couple of times - love that! Weiner is an excellent writer.

As for the relationship stuff, I can really relate to that too. Especially her misgivings about "taking a break." I was madly in love with an engineer right after my divorce about six years ago. The guy said he loved me but was very take-it-or-leave-it about the relationship. He would be charming and wonderful one night and then not call for a week or two. I went crazy for the whole two years we were together. Finally (after two previous break-ups) I told him I needed to see him at least once a week and if he couldn't do that we needed to break up. He said he needed to think about it (of course I couldn't eat or sleep during that 24 hour period) - then told me we weren't right for each other so it was over. While I knew the relationship wasn't good I begged him to stay with me, said I had reconsidered breaking up, etc. I loved him so much (or was so infatuated) that I put up with incredibly bad treatment (at one point he broke up with me on a Friday and was seen dating someone else the following week - and stupid me took him back). To this day, (I'm remarried now) I am still tempted to email him. So far I have resisted. He had a ton of power over me even though most people who know me would say I'm strong and smart. Not strong and smart in love (at least not then). I wonder if low self-esteem plays a part in that - if I thought better of myself I would have ended the relationship before two years went by. Anyway, love the book. Thanks for starting the book club, Tori!

(sorry for the long post!)
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46 y/o, married two teen boys
34 AA now a 34 C
BA date 11/1/06
Mentor, smooth, round, mod, 325 f/t 375

JessFM · Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:30 am Post subject:

dhgirl · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:28 pm Post subject:

How is everyone doing on the book? I finished it a couple of days ago and keep wondering if we are still discussing. Anyone else finished? I would love to know your thoughts.

Absolutely loved the story by the way!
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Tori911 · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 8:49 pm Post subject:

I've fininshed it too. I really liked it. I'm sorry that I have been gone. I can't wait to see who else has finished it.

hopefully-soon · Posted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:11 pm Post subject:

I finished the book a while ago. I really liked it. It was a very quick, easy read.